


The Meaning Of Regret

by AbsolutelyGarbage



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Complete, Dark Marco, Evil Marco, M/M, Shifter Marco, Titan Marco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 04:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsolutelyGarbage/pseuds/AbsolutelyGarbage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>re·gret  </p><p>n.<br/>1. A sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone.<br/>2. A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Meaning Of Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings:dark!Marco, shifter!Marco, mild spoilers for chapter 52, AU, Violence

It was a cold night, not even winter but with bitter winds-not a fun night for guard duty. Still, worse had been endured in training and Jean was glad to be alone with his thoughts.

How many days had it been since he was spending his nights in the poorly insulated barracks he shared with the other males of the 104, how long has it been since he was dreaming of joining the military police, how long has it been since he last saw that smile?

Three months, it couldn’t have been, and yet it was. It was only three months ago. Somehow he’d made his way into the Scouting Legion, somehow he’d lost his best friend along the way, somehow he started wishing he’d said so many things that he kept to himself. 

The memory of what had happened mixed with the chilly night winds, blew the warmth from Jean’s body. It was only a few more hours until his shift was over, though, and he was determined to grit through it. How was he ever going to survive what was to come if he couldn’t survive a few hours in the cold.

Jean shivered, pulling his knees to his chest. “I must look pretty pitiful right now, huh, Marco?” he talked to the air his breath turning to mist as it hit the chill of the night. “I’ll make you proud” he muttered, eyes falling shut.

snap how long had he been asleep? creak it’s pitch black and he’s disoriented, footsteps, is his shift over already? “Who’s there?” a breathy laugh. Jean freezes as the footsteps grow closer because he recognizes that laugh and there is no way he heard it just now. “Jean” the voice calls out strained and a little…strange.

It was strange enough that he was hearing his dead friend’s voice but even stranger was how much it wasn’t Marco’s voice. It sounded menacing, like when Eren talked about titans or when captain Levi talked at all. Another shiver went down his spine, not from the cold.

Surely he’d gone mad, but one would think his hallucinations would be friendlier. Did his brain have so much hatred for him to ruin the low throaty but joyful laugh from his memories?

The hands were on him without warning, one clasped over his mouth and the other discarding Jean’s warning flare to an unreachable corner of the tower. It took a moment for him to register he should be resisting and he tried to squirm out of his assailant’s grasp. 

This drew another low laugh from the body on top of him. Rope soon bound his wrists above his head, a gag in his mouth. Jean thrashed again only managing to bang his head against the wood beneath his head. His mind fuzzy from the blow, he finally saw his attacker in the low lamp light.

"I’m sorry, Jean" he whispered in a low tone that almost sounded right. His close cropped hair was messy and his eyes a little wild, red around the edges with bags underneath but it was Marco. It was Marco and Jean didn’t understand what was going on but he wanted so badly to hold him.

"You weren’t supposed to happen" Marco said in a gentle but firm voice, the one he used to scold him whenever he slacked off in training or fought with Eren. "I wasn’t supposed to get attached, just act friendly enough to avoid suspicion" he has a bag that he’s sorting through meticulously while he talks.

"Which wasn’t too hard at first, all I had to remember was that my ultimate goal was to kill you" Jean’s eyes widened at the Marco’s words and he started piecing together what he meant, how he was alive. "They knew it too, that’s why they sent me outside the walls" He was a shifter. Working with Annie, Reiner, Bertholdt, and who knows who else.

"But it was too late" he hummed piecing together what looked to be a syringe "I don’t know what it is about you, but the idea of killing you…" Jean shudders at the word kill, fearful of what was going to happen as Marco sorted through small glass vials with neat handwriting Jean couldn’t quite make out "It’s one thing I can’t do" he finally finished.

"But all of humanity must perish if i’m to return home…" Jean watches as he plunges the needle into a vial of thick, dark, fluid. "Which is why" he says with a smile "you need to no longer be human" Jean tries to let out a scream against the gag as the needle is sunk deep into his for arm, eyes widening in horror as the liquid disappears inside of him.

"They will be mad" Marco says, taking the needle out and looking directly into Jean’s eyes "But I don’t care" he runs a hand gently through Jean’s hair and hums in contentment and if Jean closed his eyes and pretends this is back at training and Marco’s not a traitor it would relax him.

"You need to live, so we can grow old together like we promised" Marco’s voice is so soft barely a whisper as he plants a kiss on Jean’s forehead. The rope around his wrists is cut and by the time he takes the gag out Marco is gone. He should go inside, tell everyone what happened and peruse him. But what would they do when they caught Marco? His stomach churned at the thought.

"Looks like I can’t kill you either" he whispers out loud, rubbing his sore wrists.


End file.
